My February Challenge: Flinch-breaking

Hello there, friend!

I hope you’re having an amazing 2012 thus far. We’re one month in and I’m excited to begin this new challenge.

I’m also quite terrified.

I mentioned in my January challenge update that I met up with a friend at Growth Conference, and our conversation inspired my February challenge.

This, in my opinion, is an even bigger challenge than drinking 31-days of green smoothies (which if not for the nutrient deficiency, I would have rocked!)

This challenge isn’t an external physical challenge like #patriotpushups, but it will benefit me physically.

This is more of an emotional, psychological, spiritual kind of challenge that may in the end help to also shed the excess weight.

The Body Diaries was always meant to be so much more than a weight loss blog.

It was created for personal transformation in every sense, not just physically.

So what exactly is this non-physical February #12er challenge?

The challenge is:

I have to look myself in the eyes for one minute every single day — all 29 days — of February and say, “I love you” to myself.

I can look at a photo, a mirror, in my webcam, I just need to SEE me and say, “I love you.”

I want to cry just typing that out.

I don’t understand, really, how it’s possible for me to bring so much love and joy to other people but not give any of it to myself.

Why is it so simple yet so incredibly hard to love ones self?

I feel that in order to have a truly productive life, to live as I want to live and be who I want to be, I will need to put down old baggage that I allow to hold me back.

So, while it may sound simple to just stare in the mirror and say, “I love you” for one minute.

It’s actually really, really hard.

I’ve tried it once before and it always ended in me feeling silly and laughing about it.

I sometimes laugh when I’m uncomfortable.

I’m not afraid of the challenge. It’s scary, but I am not afraid to face this fear and finally slay this really lame dragon that has held me captive in this tower almost my whole life.

My friend recommended I read a book called The Flinch by Julien Smith. I’d already downloaded it but hadn’t read it. Then this friend reminded me that books only benefit you when you read them.

So, I read it (You should too, it’s free on Amazon.com.)

It’s complete with homework assignments and I feel like this challenge is my Flinch-breaking moment.

What I imagine will happen is that 30 years of hurt and pain will come spilling out of me and I’ll be free from the burden of carrying past hurt.

I’ll share some of that hurt right here on this blog.

Blogging, I’ve heard, can be cathartic.

I’ve also decided that since I succeeded in #patriotpushups, I’ll take it one step further and create a patriot squats personal challenge. So, I’m going to complete at least 6,347 squats in the next 29 days.

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